Sunday, July 6, 2008

Feeling Introspective

So I'm not normally one to read into everyday situations as a lesson in life, but Saturday I felt like I was being slapped in the face with one, and so I feel compelled to share (it is after all yarn related!) Either that, or I've just been reading Tracey's blog too long - she's big with the analogies!

Last summer on a trip to visit Jake's parents, I bought some hand spun alpaca from a farm up that way. I bought ~9oz, not sure on the yardage. At some point, not having a purpose to knit with the yarn, I decided in a fit of brilliance to figure out my approximate yardage. This was not long after we got back from New York in June. Apparently I didn't do a good enough job in securing the skein before I put it away (of course without actually writing down what I approximated the yardage). A few months ago I found it as a big tangled mess. I set it next to my sewing machine meaning to get to it later (and secretly willing it to untangle magically without human intervention) and it sat and sat. I had to move it to sew up Summerlin Saturday (pics to come later) and decided it needed to be untangled. I started to work on it myself and decided it really would be easier with another set of hands, so I asked Jake if he would help and hold up the skein while I worked on untangling. 'Holding up' didn't really work out, so we found both ends of the skein, and the pair of us sat for nearly an hour to untangle this mess:

In the midst of it (there was really no talking, we were both concentrating on our respective lines of yarn) I realized what an analogy for what is too often my life. I go and create some mess - not always purposefully - and I drag someone else in to help me put the pieces back together. I realize just how lucky I am to have people around me who are always there to help, though I often take it for granted. You see, I grew up as an only child, so selfless-ness is not my strongest suit. I am often selfish and self-centered, not because I don't care, but because putting someone else first doesn't often occur to me because it was always just me. I lived by myself all through college (except freshman year when you are required to have a roomie) because I would rather have space to myself. Writing it out, I rather sound like a narcissist, but my point is, I'm not sure I would be able to put up with me like my friends do, and especially Jake. I guess it's true that people love you for your faults, not so much in spite of them.

When we finished untangling, Jake wanted to weigh each ball - to see who did more (competitive much?). My ball ended up weighing 7 grams more. This means I did more, but really means Jake did the harder portion (all things being equal, the less in the ball, the more tangles there were to undo), which struck me, too, as I often leave the 'heavy lifting' to Jake. Not only things I physically can't do, but sometimes things that I don't want to do because it's dirty or whatever other reason may strike me.

I'm not sure why this particular incident really spoke to me. Maybe because I've been trying recently to work hard on not holding grudges or continuing an argument, just for the sake of proving I'm right (Yes, I'm a Scorpio. Why do you ask?). But more so, I really need to make a concerted effort to be a better friend and a better (to-be) spouse AND be mindful and grateful of the wonderful people I have in my life. Wish me luck! And here's to hoping you all have someone to help you untangle all your messes, too.


2paw said...

Nice analogies, but I like to focus on how well you were able to co-operate!! There was the tangled mess,and when you asked for help, you got some, and then you worked so well together. Nice Harmony!!!
Best Wishes!!

km said...

Wow. I'm still on my first cup of coffee reading this, so my thoughts may not be so coherent. M and I went through architecture school together. There were a lot of nights working together on a project and "untangling" things together. It really helped for the partnership that needed to be for us to be parents together. If you and Jake do intend to be parents together someday, then it will be like the tangled mess of yarn. It will take all 4 hands. And in the end, you won't really be able to weigh how much more effort each put it. Reading this made me realize how well M & I do work together.

Miss Me said...

having someone to help is a true gift, isn't it?

Sarah said...

Isn't amazing the analogies you can find in your yarn? Sounds like you had a very insightful time of untangling. And having someone else there to help out makes the challenge all the much easier.

May all the challenges that come up for you be as easy to work through and resolve.

stella said...

You got me all choked up reading that!! Beautiful thoughts... Jake's a lucky guy. :)

kemtee said...

Being able to quietly work together can only bode well for the future.

traceyinmichigan said...

well said--- and a great analogy;)

we were never meant to untangle alone;)