Which End is Up?

So I consider myself a pretty good cook. Jake is at least as good, if not better (though I'd never admit that to him. . . and no he doesn't read my blog!). I have roasted a chicken countless times in my life. I made a chicken for dinner yesterday. I stuffed the little guy with an onion and put it on the roasting rack. It looked odd. . . didn't lay right. 'Jacob, is this chicken upside down?' He looks, shrugs, says nothing. The chicken really doesn't look right. . . could I be that stupid that I can't tell where the breast is? Clearly it's upside down. I flip it over. It now lays nice and flat and looks right. I stick the meat thermometer in. Hmmm. . . . it's a little tough to push in, but whatever. Pop it in the oven, prepare to wait about an hour. After an hour, my thermometer is only reading about 130 degrees. . . (I have one of those fabulous digital thermometers that can stay in the oven while you cook. . . a la Alton Brown. . . LOVE IT!) I turn up the oven temp in an attempt to cook it faster. About 30min later the thermometer beeps to indicate I've reached 180 degrees. FINALLY! Chicken rests on the counter while I mash the potatoes and finish the gravy and finally Jake goes to carve it. NO BREAST! Well, we've had chickens that had little breast meat before, maybe that's it. UM, NOPE! He turned the chicken over, tried to carve, and there is the full breast! Not only did I cook the chicken upside down, it is UNDERCOOKED in the breast. We're entirely too hungry to put it back in the oven, so we just ate the dark meat. It was actually quite tasty. . .but I do believe in the culinary world I have lost many points for being unable to recognize the breast of a chicken. . . maybe opening that restaurant isn't a good idea!